Reason My Cat is a Jerk #30: She Whines For Food and Doesn’t Eat It

6 08 2010

I’ve mentioned a few places that Pants is a picky eater. This is probably an understatement.

Some days, she loves tuna. Other days, tuna is the most disgusting thing she’s ever tried. For the longest time, all she would eat is Friskies Turkey and Cheese flavor. Now she often really likes turkey and cheese, but sometimes she absolutely hates it. There’s no predicting what she will like when.

The one thing I can predict is that she will whine and whine and whine for her dinner, and then, as soon as she gets it, she will take two bites, turn up her nose, hike her tail, and wander off to the other room, clearly annoyed by you and your pitiful effort at feeding her.

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For a long time, I worried that she was going to be malnourished. And she IS quite small, weighing in at just around six pounds. But then I realized that it’s not like she doesn’t eat. She usually does go back to it eventually (unless she decides she randomly and totally hates the flavor of the day). It’s just that she’ll only take a couple of bites right when I give it to her. It’s like she has to make sure I know just how much she hates me and everything I do for her before she’ll finally deign to eat the food I provide.

The funny thing is, Jezebel is a huge pig. But she never whines for her food. She’ll wolf down a whole can of food and puke it all up and eat it again and not bat an eyelash, but she never does the whole meowing thing. She just enjoys the fruits of Pants’ labors. I think the cats have worked out some arrangement where Pants is the designated hunter/gatherer, and Jezebel is… well, I’m not sure what Jezebel does exactly, except eat the food Pants manages to sponge off us.

But somehow, Pants doesn’t seem to care about the food. She basically just cares about making me cater to her.

What a jerk.

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4 responses

27 02 2011
LadyBanana

My cat is a mix of your two, walks off, comes back, eats and still pukes!

8 03 2011
Celeste

Oh yes, I know how this is. My cat is a jerk too…as I’m sure many other people’s are.

Beautiful kitties though. 🙂

9 06 2011
Cojon

My cats are bigger jerks than yours. Worse, I am quite stupid. So stupid that i have succumbed to six of the jerks, and each of the little bearers of horrid habits is worse than yours–and probably even more lovable, but jerks none the less.

My jerky cats are outdoor cats because we live in the woods. So the big male named scooter brings me presents. Usually something unidentifiable because it is shredded. I am actually glad for that. I think he is being kind and malicious all at once. I have suspected some were huge rats and for those I was glad, but some may have been bunnies, and I become very sad. Scooter is with me because he was a tiny fluffball walking on a lonely road miles from anywhere.

We got Molly in Mexico when she showed up on our front porch, the most beautiful all white tiny kitten with apricot ears and tail. She is the boss, not taking anything from anyone, yet very loving. She makes the rules the other cats follow and chastises them with a swat or a chase when they are inappropriately managing their lives.

Abbacat is a giant white male that does nothing wrong. Well almost. He seems to know his weight as he pounces on invisible mice across the bed. Abbacat always waits until we are sound asleep before he does this. Then he bangs the shade trying to get to see out the window. Once we are fully awake, he comes over to rub wonderfully against us and purr. As soon as we are asleep, he chases invisible mice until we are awake. I swear, I’m gotta throttle that jerk cat one day–if he will quit looking so happy and precious. Abbacat turned up one day in our house, acting like he belonged, surprisingly he got along with all the cats perfectly right from the start. We looked, but no one seemed to know him or was missing him. ???

I have unusual names for my cats. Babykitty, another Mexican stray, is a baby and she knows it. “I’m the baby, gotta love me” is her motto and she will not leave me alone. Some times I think if she were brighter, and could use super glue, she would glue herself to me. She is a jerk for as many reasons as both of yours.

LittleShit is just what her name implies. A little shit! But she wone me over with her long meow (she’s part Sealpoint Siamese and was another Mexican stray.) The Mexico Mexicans do not seem to take care of pets. One dog we know lived his whole life on a roof. Another, covered in huge tics had lived in a boatyard his whole life and no one was allowed to be nice to him or pet him. We violated the rules! He was a very friendly, very lonesome guard dog. Littleshit needed so much attention she would not be left alone. She slept with me each night and had to sleep with her nose to my neck, doing little biting things that didn’t hurt. I could have strangled her many times if she was not so adorable and I did not love her so much.

I’m missing one of them–fortunately he is outside laying on the porch in the warm sun. If I think of him, he’ll come in and wail like a scolded banshee to get attention and the relitive peace I am having right now will disappear.

They are all jerks. Every one of them. I hate them all. Sure I do.

6 11 2012
KhleSmizth

Thanks for the post, it was well written. Can you make more post like these in the future? I would appreciate it!

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