Reason My Cat is a Jerk #24: She Welcomes Me Home With Hatred

19 05 2010

Remember how I had a chair that I loved that Pants ripped to shreds?

Yeah. Well. When I took that one away, she found a new one.

Pants' Blue Chair

This is the chair that sits at my desk. It’s just inside the front door, and you see it as soon as you come in my apartment.

Pants loves to sit here. Maybe it has something about the padded seat or the high arms that she can sort of hide behind. Maybe it’s because she knows it’s expensive. But for whatever reason, she she sits here a lot. Which I don’t mind, because the chair is dark and hides her little black fur nicely, so most people can’t even tell that it’s covered in cat hair most of the time.

But she doesn’t just sit here. Oh no. She’s far too jerky for that.

She really likes to wait until you come into the apartment, jump into her chair, and claw at it. She pretty much does this every time we come in. Even if she’s not currently sitting in the blue chair, if she hears the door open, she comes running, just so she can tear into it as you walk in. She will stop whatever she’s doing, shoot over, and start clawing. She could be sitting in my lap, happy as a clam, and then BOOM—she’s off, clawing her way to onto the chair just in time for my husband to walk in the door.

The worst part is, she makes sure to look at you as she’s doing it. She definitely wants you to know that she understands she’s destroying something you love.

It’s how she says welcome home. Only it’s super-annoying, and she does it because she’s a jerk.

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9 responses

19 05 2010
kk

Luv your blog – found it on Stumble – it’s totally cracked me up putting a link on my facebook lol – kudos

20 05 2010
shes

You know cats claw when they feel safe and home, right?? so it’s a real welcome. Clawing comes from the way they push and pull their mom’s nipples when they suck milk as babies, so they only use it when theyre happy and safe.

20 05 2010
Eileen

I totally love your blog. I have one jerkface cat and thought I was the only one who walked around calling their cat a total JERK! Yes, I love him, but holy hell is he annoying! How about this scenario: As soon as I wake up in the morning, I get up to go into the bathroom. I open my bedroom door and there’s the cat. Sitting, waiting. If I had been any longer he’d have been scratching at the door. I start my short walk to the bathroom, and he leads. Just a tad slower than I’d like to be going and of COURSE, right in front of my feet, which leads to either myself tripping over him, or him getting kicked in the face by accident. THEN when he figures out I’m heading to the bathroom, he proceeds to pick up the pace and trot in ahead of me and sprawl out on the floor, belly up. He knows I’m just going to scoot him out, because I’ve been doing it for the past 4 years! On the rare occasion I’m too lazy to kick him out, the moment I close the door and jump in the shower he’s scratching at it to get out. My cat is a JERK!

20 05 2010
Sage

Sounds like you’re the one who’s a jerk. That cat is adorable and isn’t really doing much different than most cats do. Learn to pet owner!

20 05 2010
Amie Dolton

I also stumbled this, and its hilarious!

I will subscribe x

22 05 2010
Ian

Maybe you shouldn’t have named it pants 😛

23 02 2011
Molly

the cat does that cuz shes/hes happy ur home, they think that thats a symbol of something.

13 03 2013
fvh

Your blog only serves to demonstrate your complete lack of understanding regarding feline behavior. I’d lighten up if this stuff was funny. But it isn’t.

3 09 2013
Sally

I don’t think cats should be allowed to claw at anything that doesn’t belong to them. It doesn’t matter if its their nature to do so or if it means they’re happy to see you. It’s wrong for them to tear up your stuff and anyone who allows their cat to do that and thinks its “normal” and ok is not normal themselves.

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