Reason My Cat is a Jerk #13: She Loves to Walk on My Freshly-Mopped Floors.

18 01 2009

I love it when my floors are clean. I love it so much I sweep them all the time, and mop them as close to every week as possible. (You know why I have to mop them so frequently? It’s because they’re always covered in cat hair, and cat puke, and cat poop. But that’s a story for another day.)

You know who also loves clean floors? Pants. She absolutely adores walking all over them—while they’re still wet. I don’t know what it is, but she can’t for the life of her keep away. Maybe it’s the fresh clean scent of a wet kitchen. Maybe it’s the way it looks, all shiny and spotless. Maybe it’s the feel of the water on her paws. Maybe she’s just a jerk who’s trying to make my life miserable. I don’t know what her deal is, but when she sees me get out the mop she hides under the stainless steel counter, behind the boxes of cat food, just so she can make a break for it as soon as I’m done. She’s devious, I tell you. Cunning.

So then, when I inevitably notice her jerky plot, I have to somehow get her OFF my perfectly clean floor, which then entails walking halfway across the kitchen to grab her. Oh goody. I get to re-mop over not only her footprints, but also my own!

And then, naturally, her paws are covered in bleach water. I’d be inclined to just leave it and see if her fur turns white, but my husband doesn’t want to have to have to pay for vet bills when the cat licks her paws and gets sick, so this means I get to lock her in the bathroom and attack her with a wet washcloth. Not a favorite task for any party involved. I think next time I’m going to just tie the stick to her back and use her for a mop.

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3 responses

21 05 2010
tim and zoe sanborn

re: bleach water and vet bills

our jerky cats LOVE it when i put ajax or comet powder in the tub to let it sit before scrubbing. i used to freak out, thinking they’d lick their paws and die. it hasn’t happened yet, so i say let her be bleachy. after all, she’s a jerk!

ps love this blog.

21 05 2010
Jack Vermicelli

Eh. Just turn on the faucet and run all four paws under real quick.

30 06 2010
somerset

use vinegar, kills germs just as well and isn’t bad for the kitties. not to mention it doesn’t hurt your lungs as much as bleach does.

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