Back before my husband and I got married, we talked about one day getting cats. Well, I talked about getting cats. He was ambivalent. I LOVE cats; he just thought they were kind of weird. So once we were legally bound and set up with nice new furniture for the little jerks to destroy, I started whining about how I wanted to get kittens. I would look at pictures of kittens at nearby shelters online. I would casually walk into PetCo, just to check out the rescue cats. I would get friends who had cats to talk about how much they loved their furry friends around my husband.
Then one day, I went in on my regular rounds at PetCo, and fell in love with these two little black kittens I just knew were meant to be ours. I sent my husband to the store to check them out later that afternoon. I called him while he was still in the store to see what he thought. I finally convinced him that it was time to take the plunge.
So how do the ungrateful cats repay me for my pivotal role in bringing them into our loving home? Naturally, they decide to show clear and express favoritism toward my husband.
If we’re both sitting on the couch, they’ll pick his lap to sit on, every time. If we’re both in the apartment, they’ll follow him around. It’s like I don’t even exist. If they want attention, they’ll go and meow at him.
All I want to do when I get home from work is pet my kitties and hold them. My husband? Couldn’t care less. They flock to him.
Ninety percent of the time, I’m the one who puts food in their dish. They still go to him when they’re hungry.
I’m always willing to throw a toy mouse for them. They still bring their mice to him.
It doesn’t matter what he’s doing; they just want to be with him. Me? Not so much
The more I try to love them, the more they run to him. It’s like being with my high school boyfriend Ralph all over again, except even my cats would have remembered to call me on my sixteenth birthday. Or maybe they just would have called my husband instead, since they like him so much.
Either way, for not appreciating all the love I have to give, catholes, you, like Ralph, are total jerks.