Reason My Cat is a Jerk #4: She Hates Her Halloween Costume

1 11 2008

Who doesn’t love dressing up for Halloween?

The answer: My cats.

Every year, I stare at the dog costumes in PetCo, and I smile at the cute pictures of the happy dogs prancing around in their festive get-ups, and I get so mad at my jerk cats. They’re useless. It doesn’t matter how much I beg and plead and slip tranquilizers into their food, they still don’t like it when I try to put costumes on them.

One year, I bought Jezebel a witch costume at Build-a-Bear. It was adorable, and it would have fit her perfectly, but I never got to see, because anytime I tried to get near her with it, she tried to bite my face off. She spent most of that week hiding under the bed. It went back to the store unused.

But Pants is more docile than Jezebel. She’ll usually let me do anything to her. So I got her this fairy princess costume and strapped it on. There’s wings, and a hat, and a wand, which she stubbornly refused to hold. Still, I think she looks lovely, don’t you?

She hated it. She spent the next twenty minutes rolling around on the floor trying to make the wings fall off. It was great fun for me, obviously, to watch her in misery, and eventually I helped her get them off, but she was completely ungrateful for the lovely costume. Then I figured out why. It’s because she’s a jerk.

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5 responses

3 11 2008
datlowen

>Who doesn’t love dressing up for Halloween?

Also, me.

MEGA cute picture, though.

3 11 2008
Anne & May

That Tiger Who Ate Roy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to start a sister site to this called, My Chihuahua is Manipulative.

19 05 2010
Sarah

hmm. with this one- you totally deserved it. cats are not meant to wear clothes, and you cannot expect them to want to.
In fact, in this case, I’d say you’re the jerk for forcing that on them. and I feel completely justified in saying that, since you’ve called them jerks about 50 times so far.

30 08 2010
Mimibrown

Oh, God. This is soooo funny.

I’m a new cat owner, and I find that I have a little bit of a mean streak. I imagine Max would hate to wear a Halloween costume too – guess I’ll just have to buy one for him.

12 02 2013
charlie

actually, YOUR a jerk for this one. putting clothes on an animal is like forcing a human to wear a parka in 90 degree weather. not to mention that it is extremely pathetic to crave attention so much that you try to torture your pets.

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