Reason My Cat is a Jerk #2: She Ruined My Suitcases

18 10 2008

Jezebel doesn’t like it when we go away. She gets really clingy as we’re trying to leave for work in the mornings. She gets really affectionate when we come home. And when we get the suitcases down to pack for a trip? She gets pissed.

I don’t know how she figured out that suitcases=absence (I mean, she can’t remember what happens when she knocks into her water dish, and therefore has to repeat the experience every day), but she knows it. The first thing she does is plant herself inside any open suitcase. She scratches around inside, and she scratches around the outside (naturally, leaving marks). But that’s not enough to make us put away our bags and change our vacation plans, so Jezebel has to move on to more drastic measures. She lets us know exactly how she feels by peeing in the bags.

Jezebel knows where her litterbox is. She doesn’t pee in our suitcases out of confusion. She does it out of spite, because she’s a jerk. To date, she has used two different (expensive!) suitcases as a toilet, either directly before or directly after trips. Then she runs off and hides under the bed so we can’t strangle her.

For the record, the smell of cat pee does not come out. It doesn’t matter how many times we hose the thing down or how many boxes of baking soda we store inside, it still smells disgusting. I would not pack my clothes inside these suitcases unless I was going to visit people I really didn’t like, and since I don’t often buy plane tickets to visit my enemies, the suitcases sit in the basement, stinking the whole place up. Maybe someday I’ll get up the guts to throw them out, but I have to wait for Jezebel to climb inside first.

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6 responses

20 05 2010
Jenna

try using a mixture of baking soda, dish soap, vinegar, and hydrogen peroxide in the washing machine to clean your suitcases. it helps when they decide they like to pee on the carpet.

8 10 2010
Steph

Oh my gosh, my cat used to do that! The worst ever. And nothing got the stink out!

14 03 2011
Jaime

My cat did the same thing. I had a small duffel bag filled with brand new clothes I had diligently packed for my 7 year old son. We were taking a trip to Disneyland. Abby crawled inside, sniffed a bit, then squatted. What’s worse is that my fiance and I stared at her as I said, “Is she…..?” and he said, “She couldn’t be….” Sure enough. She pissed all over my son’s brand new clothes the night before our departure. Something she had never done before, nor has she done it since.

8 06 2011
Jessica DeWitt

I don’t know if you will every get this email BUT

NATURE’S MIRACLE SPRAY

It comes in a plain looking white bottle with red writing. it’s at all the awesome pet stores. just tell them you’re looking for nature’s miracle and they’ll point ya right to it. i recommend the regular one but they also have one for cats (or dogs) if you’re into that kind of a thing.

i kid you not i have saved countless shirts, bags, furniture and even got that horrible smell out of the wood with this stuff. it’s incredible!!! you can throw it right in with your laundry or use it to clean up the little messes on hard surfaces and the urine smell won’t linger. it also works on any other biological mess (including vomit and blood from any species).

i hope this helps make the annoyance of your kitties a little less overwhelming (i know it helped me love my cat more and saved mine and my boyfriend’s relationship. twice. he hated cats)

23 12 2011
God

try using a mixture of your index finger and midle finger tips, lightly tapped (but just enough so it makes a slight “thunk”) to its forehead. it will not hurt the cat, but will teach it that what it is doing is bad. jesus christ people this is common sense with pets, dont let them get away with this shit or they will CONTINUE TO DO SO FOREVER.

9 07 2012
Katie

@god, you are obviously too narrow minded to know that not everything works with every animal. I have a cat that sounds just like these two. I have gone as far as smacking her to the point my hand hurt (not my proudest moment but I took action after everything else failed) but she thinks it is a game and will continue to do the action waiting for a smack. Some cats are just very ballsy.

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