1. I have opposable thumbs, and can therefore do amazing things like open doors and prepare my own food.
2. I am bigger than they are.
3. My brain is larger than a golf ball.
4. I can throw them across the room. They cannot throw me across the room.
5. I don’t lick my butt.
6. I don’t lick my sister’s butt.
7. I have a whole blog about them. They don’t even know how to type.
8. I have never scarfed my dinner down, puked it all up, and then eaten the puke.
9. I have never missed the toilet.
10. I love them to distraction no matter what kinds of crazy things they think up to torture me, which is definitely more than they do for me.





Yes, but you’re not allowed to throw them across the room, are you..?
cheeky cat mother! And you only think they don’t have a blog of their own ‘cos you’ve never seen them updating it. I’m pretty sure all cats have blogs, we (the mere humans who care for them) just don’t kow where to look.
I thought I was the only one who had cats that ate puke. Ick.
Well, you’re one better than me. I know I’ve missed a toilet after drinking…
Your cat might not know how to type and neither does mine. Ruby Squeak, Squeakie to his friends, did manage to turn my screen upside down on my laptop though and he refused to tell me how he did it so that I couldn’t undo it. Fortunately my cousin solved that problem for me.
but..doesn’t the fact that you have a whole blog about your cats make them..well, better? cause they get all the attention?
cats actually do have opposable thumbs, theirs are just half way up their forearm.
i miss the toilet all the time and i have never been drunk. also those “thumbs” half way up their forearm are not opposable
They get the attention because their owner wants that
Your cats don’t know how to type? Count yourself lucky. My cat was so bad about blogging I had to put a lock on my office!
honey, if you did not already know that you are better than your cats then i am sorry i dont know what to say…..
hahahahhaha
If you havent missed the toilet at least once… Then you havent truly lived
I’ve been wondering why you have cats, if you hate them so much.
fuk u cats are geniuses ur the stupid 1
To the last two posts: How hard is it to tell this is totally sarcastic? It is obvious she loves her cats.
ure cats are perfectly normal…u on the other hand
This is a great blog. Thankyou! I have four jerks. the latest is a teenager cat: a super jerk.
BTW, approx 33% of the human brain is PreFrontal Cortex. This is the most “evolved” part of our brain, where we plan, set goals, experience forethought. The pfc of a dog is 7%. Cat’s pfc is only 3%. I’m sorry; cats have no forethought.
I love them anyway.
4,6,7,9 and 10. All reasons why your cats lives are more interesting than yours.