You know how cats do that adorable thing where they knead a blanket or a cushion before they lie down? They purr, and they’re all contented and happy, and it’s totally cute. The only problem is, Pants doesn’t like to knead blankets or cushions. She only likes to knead me.
Still, this wouldn’t be a big deal—it might actually be awesome!—if the little jerk was capable of kneading without unleashing her razor-sharp claws. Every time she does it, I end up completely scratched up. Those claws go through shirts, jeans, even blankets.
Check out those claws. It’s like Wolverine decided to come take a seat and make himself at home. At least I was wearing a sweater here. If it had been a t-shirt, there might have been permanent scarring.
The other night we let them stay in the bedroom with us when we went to bed (STUPID STUPD STUPID!), and I woke up when Pants started digging her claws into my side, kneading away at my poor flesh. In the morning my side was covered with tiny little scratches. I know she just wanted to curl up and sleep with me; I just wish she could do it without the use of force.
And you know what? I think she does it on purpose. Any normal cat would just keep the claws in, right? If she could just do it without causing bodily harm, it would be fine. Naturally, though, she won’t, because she’s a jerk.